Heartbroken

After a roller coaster of a week, our little one finally gave up the fight.  HCG levels started at 14.8, went to 27.2 3 days later, and have fallen back into the teens today.  We're completely devastated and not really sure where to go from here.  It seems so cruel to have been given such an amazing gift only to have it ripped away now.  Heartbroken doesn't even begin to describe how I feel.

Worry and Wait

Well, I am very cautiously pregnant.  I got a very faint positive pregnancy test at 9dp3dt and another slightly less faint one at 10dp3dt plus a digital.  However, my first beta on 11dp3dt came up at only 14.8 :(  I had a very tearful night on the 13th - It was my poor sister's birthday too.  Hopefully I didn't wreck it but at least it was a nice distraction for the night.  I'm obviously thrilled at being pregnant but so scared that it won't be a viable pregnancy.  I go back tomorrow for my next beta.  Praying so hard that tomorrow's is much higher and this little one starts growing strong.

2WW Dread

Well it is 8dp3dt (8 days passed 3 day transfer) today and I tested yet another BFN this morning.  I'm starting to worry that our two little embabies didn't hang on.  I've been using wondfo internet cheapy tests which make me go cross eyed to look at and have me imagining lines on everything now.  I only have 2 first response tests so I plan to use one tomorrow.  I'm so hoping that it was just the cheap tests that was the problem but now I'm worried that if I get a negative again tomorrow it'll be the real deal.  I want this so bad and this two week wait has been the worst!  Please oh please oh please let there be a second line tomorrow!  Beta is scheduled for Friday morning.

PUPO at last!

Out of my 15 eggs retrieved, 2 fertilized normally.  That was a bit of a hit for us but we had been struggling with what to do with any leftover embryos so I like to think this is God's way of taking care of that for us.  I have never been so worried in my life.  I prayed all day for those two little embryos to keep growing and just keep holding on.  Yesterday, we still had 2 little embabies - a 2 cell and a 4 cell.  Today, praise the Lord, we transferred 2 back (4 cell, 7 cell).  They were rated fair and good but I choose to believe these two embryos are fighters (how could they not be coming from our family) and will keep holding on.  I already love them.

Now I'm in the dreaded 2ww.  I have no idea how I'm going to get through it but at least the 4th of July is coming up.  I'm also going completely insane on bed rest.  I'm bored and I hate not doing things for myself when I'm able to.  Back to work tomorrow but luckily there is a break the next day for 4th of July.  So, this should be an easier week.