Fast Forward

It has been some time since I have posted.  We've been going through quite a struggle so I'll give the condensed version of our past few months to keep this from becoming a book.

We last left off with the catastrophic SA results...
Well, we went back in for a retest and, as expected, the results came back the same.  So, we moved on to a fertility center to help us address this new mountain we needed to climb over in our path to conception.  The fertility center has been great.  We were put right on the IVF track since with azoospermia that is our only option.  We also met with a urologist and hubby underwent a TESE operation to see if we could find any sperm to work with.  We were blessed with surprising results that we have some viable sperm in three out of the five samples taken.  We have our samples frozen right now in hopes to use them in ICSI.  The urologist will also be on-call during our egg retrieval in case the samples don't survive the defrost so we can try for fresh samples.  Since then, I have been (not so) patiently waiting for the start of a new cycle.  With PCOS, my cycles have been averaging about 90 days now which is great unless you're trying to conceive.  Throw in a couple insurance struggles and plan changes along the way and that brings us to the present.

I finally started a new cycle on day 90 (on the dot) so we are finally getting ready to start!  I'm really excited to move forward and actually be doing something but I am also scared to death.  I know I can get through this.  I have never wanted something so much in my life.  I'm not saying it will be easy (the thought of having to poke myself with a needle is something my mind just won't let me get over) but I will suck it up and march forward.  It will all be worth it to finally have our child.  Those words are so precious, now more than ever, our child.

While I'm admitting to my fears, I'm really worried this round won't work.  We've put so much effort into this IVF cycle that I'm worried it will all come crashing down.  I'm extremely optimistic, I so want this to work but in the back of my mind that voice is saying to be cautious.  Please, Lord, let this work!

So...it's a few days of cramping and crabby attitudes for me and then, on Monday, I will be starting my round of birth control to get everything set for IVF!  Hopefully, we're now in the countdown to our miracle!